A Wagging Tail Isn’t Always a Welcome Sign

His tail is wagging—so he must be okay with your dog… right?

Not necessarily. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was smiling and laughing, but their body was stiff, hands clenched into fists, or stuffed deep in their pockets? Just because they look happy on the outside doesn’t mean they’re comfortable. In their mind, they may have punched you in the face ten times already!

The same is true for dogs. A wagging tail doesn’t always mean a dog is friendly—it can signal anything from excitement to anxiety or even fear.

An Unexpected Lesson on a Thursday Walk

The weather was fantastic, so I took my cabin-fevered Benji out for a much-needed walk. As we strolled, we ran into my sweet neighbor, who was also out with his dog—let’s call him Biff. Benji and I stopped to chat with another neighbor when Biff and his owner came over to say hi.

Benji loves other dogs. He’s a handful, playful, and always eager to make friends, but he respects when a dog isn’t interested. When Biff’s owner said his dog was okay to meet, I agreed. But as soon as Benji approached, I noticed something important.

Benji was his usual wiggly, enthusiastic self—tail wagging, whole body swaying with excitement. Biff’s tail was wagging too… but in a completely different way.

Biff’s tail was low and wagging slowly—a classic sign of uncertainty. He also flicked his tongue and licked his lips, both clear indicators that he was anxious about the interaction. His body language told me everything I needed to know: he wasn’t comfortable.

I gently mentioned this to Biff’s owner while keeping a firm hold on my “Hey, let’s be best friends!” dog. “Biff isn’t cool with Benji in his space,” I said. We decided to part ways, and I gave Benji a little pat of reassurance. He’d find another friend on another day.

Not All Wags Mean ‘Let’s Play!’

Just like human expressions, dog tail wags come in different variations, each with its own meaning. Here’s how to read a wag before assuming a dog is ready for social time:

🐶 Fast, High Wag: Excitement or anticipation—this could be playful energy or heightened arousal, which isn’t always positive.

🐶 Slow, Low Wag: Uncertainty, submission, or anxiety. This is what Biff was doing—he wasn’t aggressive, but he wasn’t fully on board either.

🐶 Helicopter Wag (Circular Motion): Pure joy! You’ll often see this when a dog greets their favorite person after time apart.

🐶 Stiff, High Wag: This one’s a red flag. A high, stiff wag can indicate a dog is feeling defensive or on alert.

🐶 Tail Wagging to the Right vs. Left: Studies suggest dogs wag more to the right when feeling positive and more to the left when anxious or stressed.

Lip Licking: The Silent Signal

Another subtle but crucial sign? Lip licking. When a dog licks their lips upon meeting another dog, it’s usually a calming signal or an appeasement gesture. It’s their way of saying, “I’m not a threat,” but it can also indicate stress.

🔹 Calming Signal: Used to de-escalate tense situations.
🔹 Stress or Anxiety: A dog may lick their lips when unsure or overwhelmed.
🔹 Submissive Behavior: Shows deference to a more dominant dog.

Other calming signals include turning their head away, softening their eyes, freezing, yawning, or shifting their body posture.

The Takeaway: Be Mindful of Dog Body Language

When meeting a new dog, don’t just look at the tail, pay attention to the entire body. Ears, mouth, posture, and movement all provide clues about how a dog feels.

I’ve always been hyper-aware of my surroundings when walking Benji, and even more so when I ran my pet-sitting business. I was responsible for my clients’ beloved pets, and making sure every interaction was safe was my top priority.

Just because my dog is friendly and ridiculously cute doesn’t mean every dog wants to meet him. That’s why I always ask before allowing an introduction, and I encourage every dog owner to do the same.

Lesson of the day? A wagging tail isn’t always a welcome sign. Know the difference, respect a dog’s signals, and always prioritize safety over socialization.